


familia ante ceteros

by TheQueenInTheNorth



Series: lou does the aos advent 2018 [7]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 13:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16954737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenInTheNorth/pseuds/TheQueenInTheNorth
Summary: kasius wonders about sinara's family





	familia ante ceteros

_ now _

 

There is something so utterly surreal to the sight of Sinara with a baby in her arms that Kasius just can’t stop staring. She’s trailing a finger across a chubby cheek, cooing at the little one with a gentleness most people would not think her capable of when he catches her finger in his tiny hand. 

Kasius has known this side of her for years, of course, but it’s something else entirely to see her affection directed at someone else, to see it so openly, not hidden under layers of sarcasm and other defence mechanisms. He wishes she could always be this free, this unguarded, wishes her life hadn’t scarred her heart into hiding it away. But the thought is gone as quick as it came when she tears her eyes away from the babe to look over at him, because he is a deeply selfish man, and without all that hurt their paths may have never crossed.

“Come hold him,”she says, and he can’t refuse her request when she smiles at him like that.

 

_ then _

 

The topic of family arises when they arrive home after the naming ceremony for Ria’s son.

Kasius tells himself he isn’t going to say anything but he’s dwelling on the matter, and clearly not disguising it well.

“What?”Sinara asks simply. She’s partway between evening attire and leisurewear, stockings still on but wearing one of his old shirts she’s taken to sleeping in, make-up on her face, the dress discarded by the door in her haste to get out of it. She’s only just started on unpinning her artful updo.

“Nothing,”Kasius says and joins her on the sofa.“C’mere, let me help.”

She gives him a look that says she knows full well it’s not nothing yet scoots over to him anyway, back turned to him so he can work on her hair.

“You seemed quite comfortable with the baby,”Kasius eventually remarks, fingers still working, trying to make it sound like the offhand comment it really isn’t. Ria had laid him into Sinara’s arms before she could protest, and she had held him with a practiced ease Kasius hadn’t expected. He wonders why, yet doesn’t want to ask outright, isn’t even entirely certain he wants to know.

He knows there are whole orphanages filled with unwanted, unplanned bastards given to the Empire to raise in their service by its soldiers. But Sinara would have told him, surely, if she - if that was the case?

“I had younger siblings,”she says without turning around, tone indicating she is well aware where his mind went.

She really knows him far too well at times.

“Oh. I didn’t know that.” He does his best not to sound too relieved. Then he frowns as what she said completely registers.“What do you mean, had? What happened to them?”

“Oh. Well, nothing, as far as I’m aware.” Sinara shrugs.“I  _ have  _ younger siblings, then. Not that it matters. I haven’t seen them in about twenty years. They might be dead, actually.”

She says it so bluntly Kasius falters, but then presses on.“Don’t you care?”

Sinara snorts.“Do you care that Faulnak’s dead?”

“Obviously not,”Kasius says.“But surely they can’t have all been like him?”

“I suppose not. But we were very young, they may have turned out horribly.”

“I assure you, Faulnak was horrible for as long as I remember.” Kasius sighs, carding his fingers through her hair to make sure he hasn’t missed a pin.“They’re your family. Don’t you want to know what became of them?”

She hesitates, then shakes her head. When she turns to face him, she looks slightly unsettled.“They’re just people I happen to be related to. Why would I need them?”

“They’re your family,”Kasius reiterates, not entirely sure himself why he thinks she ought to care. Perhaps because the only family he has left is a man he hates as much as his father hates him in turn, and for her there might still be someone out there.“Don’t you want that? People who understand you, support you, love you? Who you love in turn?”

“But I have you for all that,”she says, so earnestly he thinks he could die happy right there and then.

 

_ now _

 

Sinara carefully settles her nephew into Kasius’ arms, correcting his hold so he’s properly supporting the baby’s head. He fusses and squirms, but settles the moment Sinara lets him grab hold of her finger again.

“Thank you,”she says softly, dropping her head against Kasius’ shoulder.

He’s too focussed on the unfamiliar little weight in his arms to manage more than,“You’re welcome.”

 

_ then _

 

“I did something and you might be mad at me if I tell you.”

“Is it another dress I’ve got to wear?”Sinara says.

The joke falls flat both because he’s actually afraid of her reaction and because her concern is written plain as day across her face. Kasius is not in the habit of admitting to doing anything wrong.

“I found your sister,”he blurts out before he can change his mind. He had no right to meddle, but now that he has, she has a right to know.“Vita. I don’t know about the others. There’s not exactly a lot of databases on Nux to work with but -”

“And what do you expect me to do with that information?”Sinara cuts him off. She hasn’t leveled a glare like that at him since the incident with the Destroyer.

Kasius shrugs helplessly.“I thought you might want to go see her? She just had a baby.”

“Well, no better time for a family reunion,”she jibes, rolling her eyes.

Yet not two weeks later, they find themselves outside her sister’s home, Sinara looking to Kasius uncertainly, hand half raised but not moving to ring the doorbell. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her this nervous.

“Do you want to go back home?”he asks.

Somehow, the option to do so is enough, and Sinara shakes her head, finally bringing her finger down on the button. The walls are thin enough that they actually can hear the shrill beep from inside.

The door is opened just far enough that the woman can get a look at them.“Can I help you?”

She looks harried, eyes darting this way and that, not finding insignia on their clothes, yet seeing them far too well dressed to be locals.

Sinara seems just as dumbfounded, though for different reasons.

“Vita?”Kasius asks, when it becomes painfully clear Sinara isn’t going to break the tense silence. The woman nods, eyes even wider now, and Kasius does his best to smile calmingly.“I’m not entirely certain we have the right house? Do you have a sister named Sinara?”

She nods slowly.“But I haven’t seen her since we were children.”

“Well, here I am,”Sinara says, her voice unusually feeble.

“Rara?” The door’s flung open and Vita throws her arms around Sinara without hesitation.“Is it really you? Oh, you’re alive! We never were sure. Ma talked about you every day.”

“It’s me,”Sinara assures her, slowly moving to pat her sister’s back.“Is Mother dead, then?”

Vita releases her, reaching out to cup her face in her hands instead.“No, no. She lives with Mik on Orid now, since he got promoted. I have to send word to them, they’ll be so excited.” She breaks off suddenly.“Where are my manners? Come in, the both of you.”

She ushers them into a small living area, sparsely furnished but impeccably clean.

“You did well,”Sinara says, and Kasius doesn’t even want to imagine her childhood home if  _ this  _ is doing well. The word he’d have chosen would be austere.

“Not like you,”Vita says, though she’s smiling proudly.“What are you now, Rara? A general?”

“Something like that,”Sinara says with a glance at Kasius. Apparently she’s once again holding it against him that he had her ennobled.

All it does is turn Vita’s attention to Kasius instead.“Oh, sorry, I didn’t even ask your name.”

He tells her, and she says,“Like the prince?”

“Exactly like the prince,”Sinara says, and Vita looks about ready to faint as realisation dawns.

 

_ now _

 

“Do we want one of these?” The words are out of his mouth before he’s even realised the question has formed in his mind. He blames the baby and his absurdly adorable dimples for this.

Sinara doesn’t answer, but she shot up from his shoulder as if electrocuted, now staring at him, perhaps waiting for something else. Him telling her it was a joke, probably.

It wasn’t a joke, that much he knows. But beyond that, even he is clueless.

Little Ven takes pity on them, ending the heavy mood settling upon them by unceremoniously and without warning spitting up on Kasius’ shirt.

“Could your wardrobe handle it?”Sinara says with a laugh, fishing out a kerchief and wiping at the mess.

“Maybe someday,”Kasius returns, and Sinara simply smiles.


End file.
